How to…
Deal with an angry client

Your phone rings and it’s a client screaming in your ear about something he says you didn’t do. Or maybe you’re at the closing table, and your client becomes enraged at your suggestion to offer the buyers a concession. Angry clients can ruin your day or a transaction, unless you know how to defuse the situation.

The client’s anger may not be justified or even caused by you, but you must still deal with it. Maybe he just finished an argument with his spouse and is taking it out on you, or perhaps a simple miscommunication between you and him caused the rage. While finding the true cause of his anger may not be your first concern as he yells at you, it should be your ultimate goal.

Start the process of calming your client by listening and acknowledging his anger. Lean forward, make eye contact, and hear him out—don’t interrupt. Psychologist and former professor Dr. Barry Markell advises REALTORS® to take a moment before responding to the client, even once he has finished, and speak in a quieter tone than normal. "Any defensiveness on your part will lead to more anger from the client. Take your time in responding to get your bearings and maintain your composure."

Markell suggests the REALTOR® buy some time to allow the client a chance to calm down. "Ask him to write down his specific problems. If you’re on the phone, have him fax the list to you and say you’ll call him back." If the client rejects that idea, tell him you’re going to write down his complaints. Either way, the process of recording the client’s specific problems shifts the conversation away from his emotions and focuses it on logic and reason.

Once the client clarifies his complaints, restate the issues without judgment and express an interest in resolving them. If appropriate, apologize; however, do not accept responsibility for errors or occurrences that are not your fault—even if it seems to be the easy way out. Admitting blame to pacify the client ignores the real reasons he’s upset.

And, while it’s important to sound calm and accommodating, Markell discourages REALTORS® from absorbing verbal abuse. "Even if the client is angry, you cannot allow him to be disrespectful, or you’ll lose the client. … Like any relationship, once one party doesn’t respect another, the relationship begins to deteriorate." Remind the client that you’re in a business relationship, Markell says, and that business professionals need to communicate in respectful tones.

Markell suggests that early in their association with a client, REALTORS® should watch for signs he may lose his temper. "One tip-off is that there will be a harsh start-up to conversations. The client will initiate conversations and begin with an immediate problem." If you sense a potential problem, confront the client before he erupts by asking tactfully if he has complaints about you or your services.

Whatever you do with an angry client, maintain your poise and professional manner. "Don’t personalize it because they’re not really angry at you," advises Markell. Listen to their concerns, empathize with their feelings, and address their complaints. Clients may still get angry with you, but you’ll be able to control the situation and solve the real problems.

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