Calling on good manners

When using cell phones, many people hang up on etiquette.

by Louise Hull   A number of years ago, I was walking down the beach in Cozumel with my daughter, who was about 10 at the time. We came upon two women sunbathing topless–an acceptable practice in some parts of Mexico. My daughter found this behavior totally objectionable. She stopped, planted her feet, crossed her arms, and said loudly enough for the women to hear, "What kind of mother did they have, anyway?" This has become a standard line we use when we encounter behavior we find unacceptable.

Now, this article has nothing to do with being on the beach … or, maybe it does, if you have ever gone to the beach to "get away from it all" and been annoyed by someone nearby incessantly talking (loudly) on his cellular telephone.

I am running into rude phone behavior frequently and finding it more offensive all the time. Well-informed humans seem to lose all semblance of good manners when it comes to cell phones. Have we become addicted? Are we so desperate to stay connected that we willingly interrupt and annoy people in our presence in favor of a phone call? Do we think the world will stop turning if we are out of touch for a few minutes or even a few hours?

I was in a business meeting recently with several community leaders. One person had his cell phone on the conference table. It rang three times, and he answered it and spoke briefly each time. Unbelievable! Our out-of town guests stopped their presentation for each call.

Since relying on common courtesy obviously is insufficient, I went looking for some simple tips on cell-phone etiquette. I was unable to find any advice on cell-phone courtesies on EmilyPost.com. However, my daughter, who is now grown and works for Cingular Wireless, told me that Cingular is aware of this problem and has begun a new campaign called "Be Sensible." (Other wireless companies may have similar campaigns; if not, I suspect they soon will.) One facet of their campaign is what they call the wireless golden rule: Disturb others as you wish to be disturbed.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:

• Whenever possible, turn your cell phone off.
• Learn to activate the mute or vibrate function on your phone and use it.
• Voice mail for your cell phone is affordable and will allow callers to leave a message if you are busy or in a meeting and your phone is off.
• If you are expecting an important phone call and are in a meeting, stand at the back of the room and step outside to answer when your phone vibrates.
• Under no circumstances should you have your phone in ringing mode or answer your phone and talk while at a meeting, theater, or house of worship. Restaurants are close behind on this list. (If you can believe it, 15% of cell phone users rarely or never set their phones to silent or turn them off when in a house of worship, according to a Cingular survey.)
• Try to speak at a normal, conversational volume.

Yes, these guidelines apply to you.

Good manners are always "in." As REALTORS®, we need to conduct ourselves so customers, clients, and business associates don’t look at us and ask, "What kind of mothers did they have, anyway?"

Louise Hull, CRB, CRS, GRI, is broker/owner of Cornerstone Properties in Victoria. She is a TREC commissioner and served as TAR chairman of the board in 2000. You can e-mail her at louise@louisehull.com.

Illustration © Digital Vision.

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